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WTQ?! 12 Weird Search Queries, and What They Say About Your Audience

April 15th, 2011 | | Keyword Research, Negative Keywords, WTQs


Of all the routine tasks we do for PPC, updating our negative keyword lists is my favorite.  Why?  I’ll give you a hint: it’s not the CPC comparisons, nor analyzing an account’s keyword health.  It’s not even the satisfaction I get from telling Google that, actually, I’m the better judge of relevancy (thank you very much!).  No.  The true reason I love working with negatives is because it means I have an excuse to pour over our search queries.  And sometimes, those queries are worth their weight in gold.

Ah, search queries, those unedited moments of personality that come with a click.  Granted, because we work very hard to keep our keyword lists refined, most of the time there aren’t many surprises in an SQR.  But every now and then, you stumble across a word that makes you confused, amazed, amused, terrified, or all four at once.  I call those WTQs – “What The Query?!” – and I love them.

Sometimes, these WTQs reflect wishful thinking from searchers (“people should not wear unfroms to school”), or unusual tastes (“chicken decor inside the home”).  Other times, WTQs remind me that some people treat Google like a consultant (“I want to buy bicycle online and make monthly payment can I do that”), or even a secret confidant (“my boyfriend wants to adopt my 2 year old her dad is in preson”).  But my two favorite types of WTQs are those that make no sense when compared to the ad group they’re connected to, and those that, well, just make no sense at all.

So without further ado, here are my top 5 search query -> ad group connections from the last few months.  I promise, I’m not making this up.

5. “archery lessons” -> Art School

4. “fencing” -> Interior Design

3. “list of dirty things” -> Online Scheduling

2. “landscape companies” -> PPC Management

1. “dr dre beats laptop software” -> Business Continuity

And as a grand finale, here are my top 7 search queries that are just plain strange, no ad-group explanation needed.  Seriously, guys.  WTQ?!

7. “trombone fetish”

6. “how to wear a thong to school”

5. “how do i make a fashion desine with fabrick?”

4. “cocaine use and aortic dissection”

3. “how to ride a book”

2. “please google help me find a publisher”

1. “argeneau vampire family tree how to contact by phone emergency”

If anyone can explain #1, please, please, let me know.

Jessica is a Creative Specialist at Hanapin Marketing, a search engine marketing firm focused on generating results through PPC and SEO.

Related posts:

  1. “What Do Polar Bears Eat” and Other Weird Search Queries
  2. Search Queries That Make You Say “Hmmm…”
  3. Google Updates Search Query Report Functionality: Query Depth = All Queries
  4. Good Bye To Google’s “Other Unique Queries” – We Won’t Miss You
  5. adCenter 101: Capitalizing On Consumer Queries
  • http://www.takingoffthesuit.com ExSuit

    Do you have a methodology or system for identifying negative keywords, or is the only/best way to go through search queries one by one and add negative keywords based on what you find?

    • Anonymous

      ExSuit – I agree with Steve’s comment (above): individual examination of search results can help you find negatives that you would have never been able to predict otherwise. It’s also important to remember, however, that you don’t have to just block the entire word: for example, if I sold surfboards but somehow got the query “big ten basketball,” I would only want to block “basketball” because “ten” could be used in searches related to “hang ten,” a surfing term. It’s also important to consider the match type you use in these situations! If I was getting a ton of searches for “big ten basketball,” for example, I might want to make it an exact negative type (-[big ten basketball]) alongside -basketball, which would help block the unwanted traffic without canceling out the search term “ten” altogether.

      There are lots of different ways to approach negative keywords – check out the “related posts” at the bottom of this page for more PPC Hero articles on negatives!

  • http://stevenahill.com Steve Hill

    Hey Ex, typically you want to individually address each search query that deems a negative keyword assignment. Examining each one individually helps prevent you from adding broadly constructed negative keywords that can, in some cases, block out useful search traffic. Think of it like weeding a garden. You could use a shovel to remove all your weeds, but you might rip out some good plants to. Your best bet is to pick them out one by one.

  • Teriturpen

    This was funny Jessica! I found a strange one for my toothbrush site:

    where to buy decorative toothbrushes

    WTQ!

    • Anonymous

      Decorative toothbrushes….like, toothbrushes you will never use, like decorative hand-towels? How funny!

  • http://fat-karate-ka.com Fat Karate Ka

    Personally, I have more fun with the natural search results because you have less control and results are more…well, natural.

    I set up a Web site for a company that offered classes on local building codes, one course specifically was about swimming pool codes, so we showed up in searches with people looking for swimming lessons. (That one actually makes sense.) I could not figure out a way to naturally “lose” these searches, so we just had to kind of cross them off our stats each month.

    My personal blog is about karate and one-third of my natural results each month comes from people querying different variations of “women’s karate feet.” (I hope I don’t link juice from this because the number was finally starting to go down.) Although, I did pick up one visitor from the search term “hot karate women.” (I was so excited about that one, I took a screen shot and posted it in the blog. )

    • Anonymous

      Natural results are really great. Sometime I would like to also sit down and see when these organic WTQs are coming in, in terms of hour of the day – I bet we’d see a lot of late nighters, as people are surfing around.

      In terms of your local building code website, have you tried experimenting with different negative match-types for keywords about swimming lessons?

      And good point about why you have more related search queries in your PPC accounts than your SEO ones. Organization (in terms of ad group structure and keyword match type) is a great tool for avoiding unwanted clicks from unrelated queries.

      • http://fat-karate-ka.com Fat Karate Ka

        Alas, that particular Web site is no longer in my control. If someone was
        looking for lessons at a specific location or a specific swim class we were
        set. The only issue was the term “swim class [town name].” If I had it to
        do over again, I would have experimented with exact phrases for that
        particular class.

        Stacy, The Fat Karate-Ka
        http://Fat-Karate-ka.com

  • Anonymous

    Ha ha! That’s really funny. The internet is such a great reminder of how diverse, unexpected, and…unusual people are.

  • Michael Taylor

    One of my colleagues is unlucky enough to have a dating site as a client… I wont repeat the Queries he used to come across, but lets just say he has grown up quickly since he’s been on that account… :-/

  • Dmtshooter

    Um, sometimes people surf the Net while drunk, or with English as a second language, or — and this is the real magic — both…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_N35DWKZHIYA4SVE2JAMQEADBLE Aidan Beanland

    Trombone fetish makes people horny.

    (s0rry)