Of all the routine tasks we do for PPC, updating our negative keyword lists is my favorite.  Why?  I’ll give you a hint: it’s not the CPC comparisons, nor analyzing an account’s keyword health.  It’s not even the satisfaction I get from telling Google that, actually, I’m the better judge of relevancy (thank you very much!).  No.  The true reason I love working with negatives is because it means I have an excuse to pour over our search queries.  And sometimes, those queries are worth their weight in gold.

Ah, search queries, those unedited moments of personality that come with a click.  Granted, because we work very hard to keep our keyword lists refined, most of the time there aren’t many surprises in an SQR.  But every now and then, you stumble across a word that makes you confused, amazed, amused, terrified, or all four at once.  I call those WTQs – “What The Query?!” – and I love them.

Sometimes, these WTQs reflect wishful thinking from searchers (“people should not wear unfroms to school”), or unusual tastes (“chicken decor inside the home”).  Other times, WTQs remind me that some people treat Google like a consultant (“I want to buy bicycle online and make monthly payment can I do that”), or even a secret confidant (“my boyfriend wants to adopt my 2 year old her dad is in preson”).  But my two favorite types of WTQs are those that make no sense when compared to the ad group they’re connected to, and those that, well, just make no sense at all.

So without further ado, here are my top 5 search query -> ad group connections from the last few months.  I promise, I’m not making this up.

5. “archery lessons” -> Art School

4. “fencing” -> Interior Design

3. “list of dirty things” -> Online Scheduling

2. “landscape companies” -> PPC Management

1. “dr dre beats laptop software” -> Business Continuity

And as a grand finale, here are my top 7 search queries that are just plain strange, no ad-group explanation needed.  Seriously, guys.  WTQ?!

7. “trombone fetish”

6. “how to wear a thong to school”

5. “how do i make a fashion desine with fabrick?”

4. “cocaine use and aortic dissection”

3. “how to ride a book”

2. “please google help me find a publisher”

1. “argeneau vampire family tree how to contact by phone emergency”

If anyone can explain #1, please, please, let me know.